L.A. Style Report

I'm tempted to just leave this blog blank, just to be an L.A. hater, but what would be the fun in that? I have to explain why, right?

So most of you know that my sisters and I went down to L.A. this past weekend for a little vacation. Grand Master P had a wedding to go to so me and the Zish tagged along. What did we do? We shopped and drank a lot of Coffee Bean. At least the two of them's did. Their favorite drink was what I like to call the Mochafrappalattevanillasplendaccino. Anyway. It was the best of the times, it was the worst of times, as is any family vacation. Here are some of the thoughts I collected over the weekend on the topic of fashion in L.A.:

1) The Bling Factor
Everyone is always so decked out in L.A. The closer you get to Hollywood, the more Spys, Speedys, and Silverados you see. (I'm sorry if you don't know what these are. I'll try and add a glossary with pictures at some point.) The closer to the O.C., the more Juicy, J Brand jeans, and jewelry by Tiffany. Not very attractive, in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, everyone looks pretty smashing but there doesn't seem anything real about the peeps there. According to P, most girls get boob jobs, everyone's hair has a million highlights, and everyone's toes are French pedicured. Ick! I don't know how they do it. The maintenance costs must be exhorbitant:

-Shampoo for volume-challenged or volume-unchallenged hair: $20 a bottle.
-Conditioner that maintains synthetic colors: $30 a bottle.
-Various hair mousses, sprays, leave-in-conditioners, waxes, heat-resisters, detanglers, etc. etc.: $20 a pop.
-Major makeup, with made-for-you lip gloss: $100 a month at least.
-Skin regimen, by those brands all the celebs use or La Prairie: $150 a month at least.
-Botox: ? ask Elbert.
-Monthly haircut and style: $200 a month.
-Daily blowouts: $50 a day.
-Manicure/pedicure: $50 a week.
-Wardrobe from Fred Segal: $500 a month at least.
-Saks for the personal stylist, or Kitson if you nasty: $1000 a month.
-It bag for the season, plus mini-It bag "just for fun": Upwards $1000 for the It, $750 for the mini-It.

I'll stop the list here. Every part of their body is blinged! (Bling is beyond diamonds IMO).

Anyway, we arrive on Friday around lunchtime and eat at a place called Toast near Melrose. We pass about a million dollars worth of LV from the front door to our table in the back (c. 30 seconds). We get settled and first thing P says is, "See that's what I like about New Yorkers. It's so not about the bling to them." "Brooklyn in the heez!!!"*


2) The boutiques
I did some boutique research before we left because I wanted to see some brands in the fabric I've had my eye on. Best boutique: Satine, hands down. P and the Zish agree on this one. Fantastic selection of understated clothes by Anna Sui, 3.1, Dries and lots of smaller names I don't remember. Nice little sale section with lots of Matthew Williamson (not so understated--sexy white satin cigarette pants, etc.). The clothes are all $500-600 minimum, so 50 % off doesn't mean nothing.

Melrose: Only good for Sportie L.A. Bea found some cool dunks for $30 at The Wasteland, which sells quality used wear at thrift store prices. The shoes probably belonged to some Sneakerologist around town who only wore them once. Anyway, Melrose is gross. Just get your kicks and get outta there.

Santa Monica: We visited Blonde and something like B.N.G. or some other letters combination. Blonde was having a huge sale I heard about before we left so we hit it with high expectations. We were let down. Its the type of place that the owner says "Hey guys" to you when you walk in and touches you when she talks to you like you're her best friend. We didn't get a "Hey guys" actually and I told her that later because after "Hey guys" came "everything on that that and that wall is 50% and everything on that that and that is 30." That's vital information. Anyway, I asked her for the facts and figures and then added "we weren't greeted on our way in" and she was SO sorry. I didn't say it to be mean, I said it to get the girl who dogged me when I walked in in trouble. I guess that's mean. Anyway. Its a nice little shop but its "L.A. wear," meaning cashmere henleys and major, major jeans. Another good P quote from this weekend:

Me: "Kate Moss says that skinny jeans are already over."
P: "Jeans are over."

I think I agree with her. If I wasn't trying to keep this entry short, I would explain how what started as a quiet, upscale denim revolution by the name of "7 for All Mankind" quickly turned into a denim glut, a plague on the retail industry even, but I'll spare you. Anyway, the next boutique was all Cacharel, major Yohji and 3.1. again. Nice stuff, but 70% off still don't mean nothing.

Now here I will wax poetic for a while: If all these high-end boutiques are discounting that much, you know something's wrong. L.A. is chock-full of specialty boutiques that hang their clothing one piece after another different piece, instead of one piece followed by the same piece in a different size, like at the Gap. How can they really stock enough for more than one size to be serviced? And all of the boutiques are TINY. They can't have a lot of stock in the first place. Most carry just one color of one bag, so if someone is looking for the new Balenciaga hobo in teal, sorry, we only carry it in purple-black. Or take shoes. You need a lot of sizes. But how can they really stock that many? How are they really making money? I'm sure there are quite a few people that the salespeople set aside looks for that plunk down major cash for the newest hottest latest. That's great. But what about everyone else not interested in buying their monthly rent's worth of stuff?

In addition, it must be a b*tch to start up a new boutique 'cuz the competition is hot and heavy. Is it really necessary to have so many? I know that some places are really unique and therefore can be seen as "necessary," at least to the fashion set, such as boutiques that sell shoes by obscure European brands and boutiques that are the sole carrier of lines like Vena Cava, who don't have enough money or the desire to be a part of fashion week. But still. You can't need THAT many boutiques. Or maybe I'm just ignorant of how much money people make, or how dire the need is to be so decked out. Anyone out there who would ever drop $500 for a tank top, let alone any one piece of clothing, even if you were a Hollywood starlet? Maybe I should become one and see. Hmm... I'll take applications for my Entourage after I get my first big gig, ok? Wouldn't that be fun! Brenda, you can be my Ken Paves!!!**

For a while I was thinking of making my own clothes. But seriously, there are so many brands out there its outrageous. And they all do different things. Or do they? Fashion has to be the most saturated industry. Why go to all that work when you only have a variation to offer and not a theme? We went to the Torrance Loehmann's and I thought, geez, we have stores that offer stuff that other stores can't sell. Isn't that strange in the least bit? If it didn't sell in the first place, then why try again? I know that the discount helps, but still... do all these clothes, shoes, accessories, gourmet pretzels, etc. need to be made? I really don't think so. Come on now. We can subsist on so much less.***


3) The Grove, and a singular Gap Fall line
The Grove is the ur-Santana Row type place. Movie theatre ($10 a seat!), restaurants, huge outdoor fountain, lots of live music, every store imaginable, farmers market, etc. etc. We went on Saturday with our friends Dave, Lydia and their little one Miriam**** and it was SO hot and crowded. Again, do we need all these stores and everything they sell? No. But seeing as there were so many people there to shop, including ourselves, maybe we do. I must say that it was really pleasant walking around, which is the best part about places like this IMO. Other times I just want to bomb them.

And finally, I have to clap my hands and say yeah to the new Fall line at the Gap! Its a lot of classic denim and clean, modern pieces; very simple and very Gap. And they got Liya Kebede and Jessica Stam (of the new Marc Jacobs Stam bag fame) to model some of the looks which is great 'cuz they're so beautiful. Brenda told me it was well reviewed by people who matter so I'm so happy for them. I have a 20% off coupon anything new thru July 31st for anyone who wants it.

And please stay tuned for my N.Y.C. Style Report, due sometime in mid-August. I'm flying out for Connie's bridal shower and can't wait to visit my favorite French brand's only U.S. store, witness the pandemonium at Canal Street,***** and of course, sweat myself to death. Torture, thy name is humidity.



*I quote the June 22nd entry of www.xanga.com/pennytimb, who I think was quoting Jay-Z. I'm not sure.
**But you're not gay, unfortunately.
***I apologize for so many questions. The trip turned out to be a quasi-reconnaisance mission as I have been thinking about going into fashion as a career. I don't think of L.A. as a fashion capital per se, but more as retail capital and thus a fashion capital.
****Miriam is now almost 2 years old and such a cutie. She's been looking a lot more like her mom these days which is so interesting 'cuz she was the spitting image of her dad when she first came out of the womb. Anyway, little Miriam's best friend is our cousin's baby Esther, who calls Miriam "Meeyam" because she can't pronounce Miriam. (Nari used to call me Auntie Minium; Nathan Auntie Miwum. Sniff.) Meeyam is my family's nickname for me so its pretty funny hearing her say it to little Miriam. Actually, my nickname is more like MeeYAM because of the emphasis my dad puts on the last syllable. You can ask M1nho for a pretty good imitation.
Interestingly enough, little Miriam's grandmother didn't want her to be named Miriam because she thought it would destine her to a sad life. I was slightly bothered by that comment. What does that mean? The only other Miriams I know are Moses and Aaron's sister and the Miriam from Sons and Lovers, who indeed had a sad life as most minor heroines do. But Mo's sister? Did I miss something in Genesis? She kinda overstepped her boundaries but that's it, right?
*****Canal Street is knockoff country from what I understand. I find the whole knockoff business fascinating because of the sheer power brands like Louis Vuitton, Prada, etc. wield over the global consumer. How is it that women across the world can salivate over what is essentially just a plain brown bag with weird shapes and an upside-down monogram on it? That's power. One time I randomly started counting how many LV bags I saw in 10 minutes at Valley Fair. It was a lot. POWER. The business of knocking off these bags is upwards $1 billion a year and counting. If you count the number of legal copies/replicas/lookalikes its probably another billion. POWER. Voldemort should get into the fake bag business after he dies next time.